EENE: The Thing
by Unknown Nemesis
Summary: The Cul-De-Sac becomes a living nightmare as the neighborhood kids discover an alien life form that can blend in perfectly by imitating anything it comes in contact with...including one of them. Now, friends are pitted against each other, nobody trusts anybody anymore as paranoia ensues and the remaining humans seek a way to destroy the alien before the infection spreads.


**THE THING**

_Peach Creek, winter, 2009…_

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For weeks, the wind whistled in the air as a thick white sheet had been laid out on a once green and beautiful landscape. Pellets of white bombarded the small Cul-De-Sac neighborhood of Peach Creek for days on end, leaving thick white snow patches in its wake. Today, however the snow had stopped falling and a light breeze swept across the houses. Kevin was in his parking lot, tweaking a few bolts on his bike as Nazz watched him, Jimmy and Sarah were making snow angels, Jonny and Plank were making a snowman, Rolf was taking care of his animals in his backyard, the Eds debated on whether to think of a scam or to do something fun in the snow, mainly Eddy and Edd were arguing over this while Ed just sat on his porch, reading a sci-fi comic book, _"Who Goes There?"_.

"Okay, sockhead," Eddy said. "I got a perfect scam in mind! We'll have a snowball battle royale! We can make snowforts, snowballs and charge the suckers for it! We'll be rich!"

"Eddy, this is a day where the wind conditions aren't completely absurd and we should at least let the kids relax and have a nice day of fun," Edd reasoned. "Your plans have fallen on deaf ears, mister, count me out of your scam."

"Oh, come on, sockhead," Eddy groaned. "You always have it out for my scams don't you?" as the argument went on, Ed just read the comic, his eyes scanning back and forth with great interest. Ed's reading and the debate between Ed and Edd was suddenly cut short by the sound of a crack in the distance. Everyone had apparently heard as nine heads had perked up, looking off at the direction where the source of the sound had originated; the forest beyond the playground.

"What was that?" Nazz asked.

"I have no clue." Kevin replied.

"Plank heard it coming from the forest!" Jonny said.

"What is this noise that which Rolf hears?" Rolf questioned as he had exited his house and met up with the other kids.

"Sarah, I'm scared." Jimmy shook.

"Its alright, Jimmy, I'm sure its nothing." Sarah comforted her timid friend.

"Oh, my!" Edd said.

"Let's go check it out!" Eddy said eagerly as he darted off. "Last one there is a rotten egg!"

"Wait for me!" Ed yelled, stuffing his comic into his jacket and following Eddy.

"Ed, Eddy, wait!" Edd called out after them as he followed in pursuit. The rest of the children were heading in the same direction as well, Kevin and Nazz boarding the former's bike and riding past past the playground and stood by the sidewalk, across the street was where the forest came into view. The group stood there as they waited for any other sound. Just as soon as they had thought of it, a second crack echoed throughout the tree, making several birds flee from their positions. Jimmy shook and hid behind Sarah while the rest of the kids tensed a bit.

"Wait, I see something!" Kevin said, squinting his eyes at a dark shape coming towards them.

"Plank and I see it too!" Jonny agreed.

"What is it?" Eddy asked.

"Its kind of hard to tell." Edd said, trying to get a good glimpse at was coming towards them. It was running. A loud squeal startled the Cul-De-Sac residents as an adult pig sprung out of the hedges and trees, running behind the kids as if seeking protection.

"A pig?" Eddy asked. "That's what we got worked up over?"

"This one of your animals, Rolf?" Kevin asked.

"Not any that Rolf remembers. Rolf has never seen this pig before." Rolf denied.

"Aw, its cute!" Jimmy said as he slowly bent down and pet the pig which happily brushed its head against the young boy's chest. Their questioning was interrupted as the bushes rustled and a second figure emerged from the forest. This time, it was a boy. He wore a ragged brown parka with a small football emblem along some dirty blue jeans. His black boots crunched in the snow as he stepped out. He looked to be around fifteen years old. His face was covered in snow, round chin, and sharp nose. He breathed heavily and rapidly as he clutched something in his hands. The kids looked at what he clenched within his grasp and their eyes met an X-Bolt Composite Stalker Hunting Rifle.

"Holy crap, that's an awesome looking gun!" Eddy complimented. "How is that you get a legit thing like that?!" the boy apparently didn't hear or care about Eddy's comment but instead spoke to the kids in general, his voice shaking slightly.

"Get the hell away from it!" he stuttered, gesturing to the pig which shook with fear. "That's no pig! Its some thing, its pretending to be a pig, its not real! GET AWAY YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!" suddenly without warning, the boy raised his rifle and pulled the trigger. The weapon cracked back loudly as the pig let out a squeal and fled from the group of kids, its side bleeding a bit, apparently grazed a bit by the round that had been fired. The rest of the kids dove into the ground as the boy ran past them, reloading his rifle.

"Did you see that?! He shot at us!" Eddy yelled.

"Is that guy crazy?! He could end up hurting someone!" Kevin said.

"What're we going to do?!" Jimmy shouted, cowering as another gunshot rang out.

"Rolf has something that can help us!" Rolf spoke up. "Rolf must get back to his dwelling!" the foreign boy sprang up and made a mad dash for his house.

"Rolf, wait, what're you doing?!" Nazz called out. "You could get hurt!"

"What's that Plank?" Jonny said, putting his ear to the 2X4's crayon drawn mouth. "Plank says, that gunmen was apparently trying to hit the pig, not us."

"Why shoot an innocent pig?!" Edd asked.

"Plank said "Beats me!" !" Jonny translated.

"We should go help Rolf, he could get injured if he plans to help that pig!" Nazz suggested.

"He said he was going back to his house so we should stay down unless we want to get shot at!" Eddy insisted.

"That's our friend! We can't leave him out there by himself!" Nazz replied as she got up and headed off to Rolf's house.

"Nazz!" Kevin shouted after her, boarding his bike and giving chase. Jonny soon followed with Plank, then Sarah and Jimmy, and finally the Eds.

"This is just like that movie Rampage where a mad gunman runs around shooting people in order to keep the world population at a minimum!" Ed said with a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Ed, this is serious! Unlike movie, someone can actually get hurt here!" Edd tried to say to Ed.

"Like walnuts?" Ed said dumbly.

"Just get to Rolf's house and we should be fine!" Edd conceded. The kids all saw the gunman walking around the Cul-De-Sac, aiming behind a house and opening fire with a pig squeal following. The animal darted from the other side of the house in a raving panic as the door to Rolf's house opened. Rolf stood on his front porch, holding his a hunting rifle of his own. The gunman followed the direction of the pig and took aim, not noticing Rolf behind him. Rolf aimed his own gun and pulled the trigger.

A loud _BLAM!_ echoed from Rolf's rifle as the kids and Cul-De-Sac fell silent. There was nothing but them and the body of the gunman collapsing into the snow, motionless as a small pool of blood formed around his head. The kids all looked at Rofl with horrified expressions.

"The boy with the gun has been dealt with by Rolf, thank you." Rolf said a bit proudly.

"Rolf, you...you KILLED him!" Kevin said.

"The boy would've killed us if we were to get in the way, would he have not? He shot and nearly killed one of us. Rolf had to do something in self-defense." Rolf explained and the kids knew he had a point. The boy had almost seriously injured one of them and this pig was lucky to still be alive. The snow had begun to fall once more, this time at a steady and fast rate, pelting the Cul-De-Sac with pellets of snow.

"What do we do?" Nazz asked, her eyes glued onto the corpse of the shooter.

"We call 9-1-1! They may be able to assess this situation!" Edd said as he headed over to his own house and raced into the kitchen. He picked up the phone and dialed the number. He waited for a few moments.

"Anything?" Kevin said, walking into Edd's house and standing the doorway.

"...Nothing. The lines aren't working, I don't know what's wrong." Edd said.

"We have to get ahold of someone. We need to let the authorities know about this." Kevin said.

"I'm trying to do that but it must be from the heavy snow outside. We'll have to wait for to clear up. But let's bring that boy's body in. Maybe we can find something on him. Bring the pig too."

"Let's meet up at my place, the basement may be a good place to store the body, Rolf can take care of the pig." Kevin suggested.

"Alright," Edd agreed. "Rolf can put the pig in with his other animals."

Sometime later, the kids had managed to bring carry the body into Kevin's basement while Rolf tended to the wounded pig in the corner, lightly cleaning its wounds with a cotton ball dipped in alcohol. Edd took a look at the body and saw the emblem on his jacket. It appeared to be the image of a squash.

"Hey, this kid must go to Kingsville Junior High." Edd pointed out.

"Kingsville? That's not far from here." Kevin said. "But why suddenly go bonkers and start trying to shoot up a pig?"

"Maybe he's hunting a pig for sport and was going to wear its skin for camouflage as he hunts more pigs!" Ed said. The kids all stared at him awkwardly.

"Moving on…" Edd said. "This child apparently went crazy over something." Edd looked through the kid's pockets and pulled out a wallet.

"Does that wallet have cash?!" Eddy said, looking over Edd's shoulder.

"Eddy, a kid is dead! Show some decency!" Edd scolded before looking at the child's I.D. card. "His name's Richard Vasquez. He lives on 2134 Overdrive Avenue, Kingsville."

"Well, we should at least call the kid's parents." Nazz said. "Does he have his family's phone number or his phone on him?"

"No phone and the only phone number here is his own." Edd replied with a bit of reluctance.

"So, we should go tell them ourselves then." Eddy said.

"No, not all of us can go, plus the snow is going to get a bit heavier soon." Edd warned.

"But this kid's parents need to know." Kevin said.

"They could be worried sick about him." Nazz added.

"Its really up to you." Edd said. "I can't make your decisions for you."

"I'm going," Kevin said. "But I want you to come with me, Double Dweeb."

"Me?" Edd asked a bit bewildered. "Why?"

"Because you're a bit better at breaking news to people. I can at least provide the bike."

"What about me, Kev?" Nazz asked.

"Sorry, Nazz but Edd may handle this a bit better." Kevin explained. The two argued back and forth but in the end, Kevin won out and he ushered Edd to follow him outside where his bike sat. Kevin got on it and Edd sat behind Kevin.

"You know where Kingsville is?" Edd asked.

"I have an idea." Kevin said as he pedalled and the two sped off.

"So they're actually doing it." Eddy said as he watched them go.

"Plank says they'll come back safely." Jonny said as they headed back inside Kevin's basement. The wind howled as the storm calmed a bit. The pig in the shed with the other animals lied down, seeking heat as the rest of the pigs let him in their circle without a scuffle. The pig fell asleep some time later.

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**And there was chapter 1 of my Ed, Edd, N Eddy version of John Carpenter's _The Thing_. Yes, some of you may be wondering where the adults are in this situation, well I decided to keep that aspect out since the adults are almost never around when stuff happens. They weren't around when Ed dressed up as a monster and practically kidnapped all the kids, they weren't around when the kids thought they were being invaded by aliens, they weren't around when a chair got lodged in Kevin's window so why give a crap now? :D **

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and are looking forward to more, red, review, and favorite the story if you want to see more! So until next time, stay gold, my friends!**


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